Saturday, March 27, 2004
Even better, check out Confessions of a Midlevel Screenwriter.
And, in the Craigslist Hall of Fame:
I have four free dogs. Two of them are large sized, about up to my waist. One is brown and the other sort of milky grey, with a large black patch of hair on his belly. The "black hair patch" dog has a limp, as it was stepped on by a truck driver doing a delivery one day. But he's very kind. The other two dogs are about the size of a bowling ball, but not round like that. One is more round and the other pretty skinny. I don't know the breeds, but they have scratchy hair. You may have seen me with them because I walk them all together usually from Lexington to Central Park and I like to go down 80th street. I also have a monkey but he looks sort of sick. I think you'd need a vet for him. I got him in New Jersey about three years ago. All of these are free and I have individual bowls for the dog and a leash for the monkey. I have to get rid of them because I need an operation in a week that's pretty serious and I don't have anywhere for them to stay. They all get along great except for the monkey and the larger small dog. But I'd hate to split them up. Serious inquiries only. I would rather that they didn't go to the Bronx or Staten Island. Nothing personal.
And finally: The English-To-12-Year-Old AOLer Translator, through which the above posting is rendered as:
I HAEV FOUR FRE DOGS!11! WTF TWO OF TH3M R LARGE SIEZD ABOUT UP 2 MAH WASET11!!!1 OMG ONE IS BROWN AND TEH OTH3R SORT OF MILKY GRAY WIT A LARG3 BLAK PATCH OF HARE ON HIS BLY!1!1 OMG TEH BLAK HARE PATCH DOG HAS A LIMP AS IT WAS STAPED ON BY A TRUK DRIEVR DONG A DELIEVRY ONE DAY11111! OMG WTF LOL BUT HES V3RY KIND111!1 OMG WTF LOL DA OTHAR TWO DOGS R ABOUT TEH SIEZ OF A BOWLNG BAL BUT NOT ROUND LIEK TAHT!!!11!11 OMG WTF ON3 IS MOR3 ROUND AND TEH OTH3R PR3TY SKINY!111!111 OMG I DONT KNOW TEH BREDS BUT THEY HAEV SCRATCHY HARE111!!!11 WTF U MAY HAEV SEN ME WIT THEM B/C I WOK THAM AL 2G3THER USUALY FROM LEXNG2N 2 CENTRAL PARK AND I LIEK 2 GO DOWN 80TH STRET!!1!!1! LOL I ALSO HAEV A MONKEY BUT HE LOKS SORT OF SIK11!11!11 WTF LOL I THINK U NED A VET FOR HIM!1!!111! OMG LOL I GOT HIM IN NU JERSAY ABOUT THRE Y3ARS AGO11!! OMG AL OF THESE R FRE AND I HAEV INDIVIDUAL BOWLS FOR DA DOG AND A LEASH FOR DA MONKEY!1!!!1 I HAEV 2 G3T RID OF THEM B/C I NED AN OP3RATION IN A WEK TAHTS PRETY SERIOUS AND I DONT HAEV ANYWH3RE FOR TH3M 2 STAY!1!1 LOL TH3Y AL GET ALONG GREAT AXCEPT FOR TEH MONK3Y AND DA LARGAR SMAL DOG!11!1! WTF LOL BUT ID HAET 2 SPLIT THEM UP!11! OMG WTF LOL SERIOUS INQUIREIS ONLY11111!!! OMG I WUD RATH3R TAHT THEY DIDNT GO 2 TEH BRONX OR STAETN ISLAND!1111!!1 OMG WTF LOL NOTHNG PERSONAL
at 12:41 PM